Whod you bang
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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