one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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