I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
