The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
