BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i came on her dog
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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