I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
