they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
