forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Someone shattered a urinal.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Randomize
