she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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