I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Sacagawea was the original milf.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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