Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
