So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
