Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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