if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
