Well apparently he's into motor boating.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
