I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize