she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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