so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
