im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
