need another drink. this is the easiest way
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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