Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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