i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
