I cut my penus on the lid.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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