And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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