Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
