I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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