She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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