My pussy is not your playground.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
