If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I smell stomach acid.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
