I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
