Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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