Can Purell be used as lube?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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