whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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