you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
