At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
