carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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