Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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