Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
