You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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