tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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