she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We talked him into tasing himself.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
