I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
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