just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Randomize
