That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
