you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize
