If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
