If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
