my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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