how can u be prego again
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize