this boner is exhausting
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Rumble strips road head = magical
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
