We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
