Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
