It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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