There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
