Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
