what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
