Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize