you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
