i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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