You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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