went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
you're hired as official boob wrangler
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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