Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Screwed.edu
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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