as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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