I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
